{sucking at: wifery}

Perhaps I'll make this a regular feature here.  {insert laughter at myself} I'm introducing you to the myriad ways I *sometimes* suck at the sport of wifery.

Please note, for the love of all things sparkly, I'm laughing at myself!  I'm not looking for affirmation, or comments, or anything.  I'm sharing my amusement with myself at the funny situations that sometimes occur in my home.  Maybe they happen in your home too?

I shall commence immediately....
Last night, several spectacular things happened in my home.  And while I don't have pictures, I do want to share them with you.  Because they made me and Mikey laugh.  Rather a lot.  At ourselves.  Well, actually, we were laughing, together, at me.

ONE

I only do the grocery shopping two times a week, unless I run out of toilet paper or milk. {Is that a weird combination?} So, because I only shop twice a week, I sometimes don't have ingredients on hand for a spiffy meal.  Usually that results in whipping out some frozen 'mystery' leftovers and subjecting Mikey to science experiments in the name of healthy living.  Last night was no exception.  I took out two containers of mystery leftovers {because sometimes I forget to label stuff} and told Mikey what to not expect for dinner.  He was supposed to have chili, I was to have quinoa with leftover sauteed spinach and mushrooms.

Except, Mikey decided he'd rather have a grinder form the pizza place down the street.  And since I way over indulged over the weekend, I declined take away.  I was going to be happy with my quinoa by God!  So he left to get his food, and I put the quinoa on the stove.  1 cup water, 1/2 cup quinoa.  20 minutes later.... I had burned the quinoa so badly the pan was black and my house was full of the revolting smell of burnt popcorn.  

In the 8 years we've been married, I've never burnt any food.  I was humiliated and upset.  And, Mikey was laughing at me!  Of course, shortly after it happened I realized that it was funny so I laughed about it too.  I laughed even harder when Mikey realized he was the one that was going to have to clean the pot....

TWO

We are nearing the end of our process of applying to refinance our house.  The appraiser is coming tomorrow morning so we've been cleaning the house like it's our job.  As it's been raining pretty steadily for the past week plus, and rain was forecast for last night, we decided to clean the loft. Our living room is a cathedral ceiling, and the 'upstairs' consists of our bedroom and 'the loft' - which is where we put the fish tanks, my desk, and the piano.  It's a nice little space, but it tends to collect junk.  Honestly, the whole house gets like that.

So, I convinced Mikey that it really would only take about 20 minutes to clean the loft if he helped me.  What really happened was: Mikey cleaned the loft and I practiced the piano for an hour.  Oops.  He obviously missed the memo about how 'we' really means 'him'.

Strike two for wifery.

THREE

Also last night, we were under a severe storm warning.  Our dog, Shirley, goes 100% nutsy during storms.  Seriously, she barks her wee little head off and is totally ridiculous.  So the nice vet gave us some doggie downers for her, which turn her into this squinty eyed, very mellow little pooch who has zero depth perception and can barely walk.

Mikey decided to give her half a pill, which makes her as I described.  A whole pill makes her catatonic.

So... the problem is the pill didn't take affect before the storms came.  So she went nuts while I was in the process of killing the above mentioned quinoa.  Then, 30 minutes after the storm passed, Shirley went borderline catatonic.

The funny part.... she decided that she would side with Mikey and get me back for sucking so bad at wifery.  She peed all over me, and the couch, right before bed time.

Touche, Shirley.  Touche.

{picture show}

What I've been doing lately...

another charming bathroom selfie - note, dirty hair and no make up

a sweet belated birthday surprise from my sister

a fancy frog-in-the-hole breakfast

cake & tea break at the office

june birch box - one of the best i've gotten yet

flowers: white from a wedding, pink from my garden

{compassion}

At church on Sunday we talked about compassion.  I've never thought of myself as a particularly compassionate person, though the troubles of the world weigh heavy on my heart.  And often I cry at little to no provocation.  So I started pondering in my heart how I can be more compassionate towards other people.  Doubled up with these thoughts, was the sudden film-like reel of missteps, misdeeds and bad things I've done throughout my life.

Have you ever experienced that?  A sort of ticker-tape listing of everything wrong you've ever done in your life... this goes beyond just regretting the things I've done.  I mean, I already regret it.  I have already regretted it.  I don't need to continue to regret these things every day for the rest of my life.  I need to move on so that I can make room for compassion.

Also at church we had a healing service.  Such an amazing laying on of hands and working of the Spirit.  We hold them quarterly, or thereabouts, and I often hesitate to go up.  The question being, am I sick enough?  Frankly, I'm not sick at all... not physically anyway, like so many people that do go up for healing.  But my mind and heart are certainly in turmoil, and for about a year Michael used to go up to the alter with me for healing - you know, when we were out of work and our marriage was falling apart.  Because that was awful.

But now, it seems like these wounds in my heart are somehow less 'serious' or less 'important' then the injuries and hurts of other people.  But I was brave and went up anyway, figuring I could use every single extra blessing I could get.

And you know what?  It was amazing.  I cried.  I received the Holy Spirit.  And the word I heard the most was compassion.  That I must continue to grow in compassion.  That as I strive to live in the deep peace of Christ I will gain more compassion, more peace, more steadiness for the Lord.

There has been a shift in my life lately.  A shift away from my blog, my phone, my pseudo-artificial life.  A shift into more time at home, more time focusing on my marriage, my life, my relationships with people I come into contact with on a regular basis. I'm scared for this shift, because I don't know what it means and how my life will be changing.  Part of this is coming from a rather frenetic attempt to make my house more presentable for the appraiser that's coming next week.  And part of it comes from a sudden decrease in wanting to do with anything involving blogging or technology.

I'm not apologizing, because I'm not sorry. I'm certainly confused, but that's hardly news.  I'm striving to have my compassion for myself - to relax and let my mind and body do what they need and want to do without the seemingly constant pressure to be more, perform better, act more righteous then I am.

Gold star for you if you want it to the end of this. =)

{on my mind}

More and more I'm finding that I don't want to take pictures of every single thing I do.  Which is, apparently, pretty a-typical blogger behavior.  But there you have it.  And since I don't take a lot of pictures of my life, sometimes it seems like I don't have a lot to share.

Not true my friends.  I mean, sometimes my life seems like it's sinking into mediocrity, but I do fun things!  Once in a while.  If I'm dragged into it...

Lately, the following things have been on my mind.  A lot.

1. Chicken Liver Patte.  I could eat this every day and twice on Sunday.  Delicious? Yes.  Good for my diet?  Not really.  I *might* have overindulged a bit at a party on Sunday, which resulted in a maintaining week on weigh in day.  I have zero ability to portion control patte.  None.

{awesome sauce}

2. My new bathing suit.  I'm so happy with my changing body I went and bought myself a bikini.  Not a tankini, a bona fide - two piece - show my belly to the world - bikini. Yes.  Yes I did.  And I love love love love it.  Now I just need to try and convince myself that I'm wearing a bathing suit and not strutting around the beach in my underwear. 

3. Weather.  Oh - crazy New England weather.  One week temps are 90+, the next week it's 50 and raining, then back to 90+ and humid.  This isn't good for my hair nor my moral.  But my garden seems to like it.

{herbs!}

4. My garden.  I've finally managed to plant most everything.  I've got cucumbers, butternut squash, acorn squash, sage, rosemary, mint, tomatoes, pole beans, and basil.  I still want to plant lettuce and beats, but I haven't gotten around to it yet.  And my asparagus bulbs are so old I think I need to get new ones before I try and plant those.

{and we are back to classy public restroom photos}

 
5. New Clothes.  I went shopping with my mom two weekends ago and got some really nice new things.  It's pretty rare now that I'll shop in a department store, especially with this body that only seems to stay in a size for about 5 weeks before clothes don't fit anymore.  But I'm pretty solidly in a size 12 now and decided to treat myself to some new dresses and tops. 

{how pretty!}

 6. My Garden Shed.  I finally was able to clean out my garden shed, which we put up last year.  We installed peg board when we built it, but I never had hooks.  Behold, hooks!  Glory be, but this might be my favorite part of my garden shed.   I compulsively rearrange this area every time I go in there....

What's been on your mind lately?

{monthly health goals #2}

I can't believe it's the end of May already!  I also can't believe that I threw away the piece of paper where I was keeping track of my health goals for the month!  Today, I feel extra lame....

And it makes me sad because, of course, if I don't write it down I have very little hope of remembering anything.  And... I can't remember what my goals were. =(

Except. Except that I do remember one of my goals.  And that was to keep positive and/or happy as much as I could.  I think this follows along the "fake it 'till you make it" method, or perhaps the "think method" made famous by "The Music Man".  I figured if I could at least act happy, perhaps, eventually, I would actually be happy.

This was mostly a condition I put on myself for the house I'm at work.  When I'm home, I'm generally a different sort of girl.  Unless I have a bad day at work, and then I'm a dragon at home too.

I'm giving myself a low passing grade on this.  For the most part, I did spend a considerable amount of my month being less irritable and moody then I tend to be.  I can't say I was all sunshine and giggles at the office.  But seriously, if I had become that girl my co-workers would wonder where I was getting my drugs.

So, the order of the month was for me to be happier.  And I mostly succeeded. There have been some interesting developments at the office, which are really causing a lot of stress.  And, on top of the stress at work we are neck deep in getting the house ready for our refi appraisal so there's a little extra stress.

Stressed Maggie = dragon lady.  It's not pretty.

But on a happier note, I've been steadily heading towards my goal in Weight Watchers.  I've officially lost 39.6 pounds now, putting me mere ounces away from a mini-goal of 40 pounds lost.  It's a big deal.  So big, in fact, that my mommy bought be 2 pairs of extra sexy black pumps to almost celebrate.

How did your goals go?  Did you pass?  Or were you like me and forgot what they all were?

{regional carabox exchange}

Have you heard about Carabox?  It's this great program that Kaitlyn came up with to connect bloggers together, for us to write encouraging words to each other & to send something sweet in the mail to our new friends.  If you click on Kaitlyn's name up there you can learn more about her program! This is the second time I've participated in this program, and I really loved this month's theme of "regional".

I got paired up with Kelsey, who happens to live on an amazing farm in Nebraska. I had to confess to her that I don't even know where Nebraska is on the map... isn't it one of those big, square states out West?  I was never very good at Geography.  Kelsey is lots of fun and I've really enjoyed getting to know her. =)

I didn't snap a picture of what I sent her, but I did have a good time going around and finding goodies.  It was tricky, since Connecticut seems to most just deal in sheep and nutmeg and the postal service frowns when you try and put a lamb in those flat rate priority boxes.

At any rate, I did send her some lovely things from the region of New England, encompassing Connecticut and Vermont as the two states my goodies came from.  I sent her: with hazel (CT), a home-made case for her Nook (CT), several different types of chocolate (VT), hand made soap (CT) and a jar of raw honey (CT).  My mother then reminded me that I should have sent her a few nutmeg nuts and a mini microplane.  But sometimes it's hard to be really creative in a time crunch.

Sally got paired with me, and she sent me a lovely box full of goodies from Kansas.  Truthfully, I don't know where Kansas is either.  But my husband has actually been there!  At any rate, here's what she sent me...

I really enjoyed all the captions she put with my gifts.  I received:
*chapstick (Burt's Bees) - since the winds are so strong in Kansas!
*a sunflower mug from the sunflower state - perfect for a cup of tea or coffee on a cloudy afternoon!
*fresh coffee beans from the local coffee merchant
*a handmade owl ornament
*a funky chicken pot holder - which I think might be the inspiration for my kitchen remodel
*actual sunflower seeds - Michael really loved those!
*a recipe for a chocolate cake - her own mothers' recipe!

Sally's blog is full of the prettiest photographs!  It makes me wish I had those kinds of camera skills, but I have to get by with my phone camera. =)  Thanks for sending me these lovely things Sally!  And thanks for taking the time to get to know me.

{faithful friday #11}

This week, I'm thankful for:
*ice cream cones
*packages of goodies in the mail
*surprise texts from people who miss me
*being able to watch other people's livestock - because it reminds me that maybe I'm not quite ready for 5 AM feeding times on a regular basis...
*rhubarb patches
*shopping dates with my mom
*friendly toots of car horns {I know that's pretty subjective}
*rain - we need some more of it!

{embracing my gifts}

Sometimes I have a lot of trouble seeing parts of myself as gifts.  It's easier for me to see my flaws, my weak spots, the cracks in my foundation.  I suppose many people are that way, or feel that way.  Today I thought I'd embrace the things that make me unique, the things that Michael cherishes most about me, the things friends tell me I'm good at - all of which are likely the things I need to pay more attention to in my life.

1. I'm like a dog with a bone when it comes to getting special tasks done.  Need to find the perfect gift for your favorite old aunty?  I'm on it.  Need to find the best gluten free recipe ever for carrot cake.  I can do that.  Need the name for some little known Scottish folk song, and the sheet music?  Done.



2. I love to play my horn, or keyboard, or sing.  But I prefer to be asked to do so.  I'm modest enough about my performance skills, and those skills have declined significantly since I've stopped practicing for several hours a day as I did in college.  I will rarely volunteer my musical services to people because I want to be asked.  Perhaps this all stems from a fear of marketing myself.  Or a fear of appearing over-confident and/or cocky about my skills.

3. I want to cook for you. Or send you a present.  I want to tell you that I love you, but sometimes I can't just tell you. Sometimes I need to show you.  With, like, muffins or macaroni or ice cream cones.  Or, you know, glittery pens from Target.

4. I appreciate a high level of ridiculousness.  The good Lord knows I can be judgmental and negative.  But He's been good enough to me to give me the grace to really appreciate silliness in every form.  Sometimes this comes in the form of burping contests with my husband - and by contest, I really just mean that we both drank too many carbonated beverages and now we sound like a herd of teenage boys.  And that's funny.  I also laugh at myself all the time - mostly because I spend a lot of my life tripping up stairs, falling out of my own shoes, and putting clothes on backwards and/or inside out.

5. When you're sad, I'm sad.  I think of myself as very sensitive to the emotions of the people around me.  And, because my verbal filter is often out of order, I find myself being overly sensitive to the things I've said to/about/around other people.  So I often find myself asking people if they are mad at me, or some other drivel.  It's probably annoying.  But I don't want to make people unhappy, and even if I didn't cause you to be so, I'll work really damn hard to make you feel happy again.

I'll stop there.  Don't want to give myself a big head! =)

{lost/gained: +1}

i knew this wasn't going to be easy

it's a long road to walk

a hard patch to hoe

but my weight loss isn't going how i want it to

waaaa

{that's my whine voice}

i've been stuck at the 38/37 pounds lost mark

i'm all but killing myself to try and reach 40 pounds lost

god knows i'll get there

someday

and then i want to loose another 15 on top of that!

good grief.

so, i'm feeling a bit defeated right now

i've gained and lost the same 2 pounds for 5 weeks

give or take

i knew this wasn't going to be easy

i didn't expect it to be be

but i also didn't expect the first 30 pounds to come off so... 

easily?

seemingly without effort?

i know i need to exercise more

{except that i'm already walking nearly an hour every day}

and stop eating 1/4 of a cake every night

it's been a real problem lately

so i'm just at a stalemate right now

a place of maintaining

kind of

and while i know this happens to every person on this journey

and, truthfully, i was expecting it

but i'm still feeling defeated

i don't want advice

i don't want sympathy

frankly, i want a hug

but more, i want to be ok with what i've done so far

because i've accomplished something amazing

i've lost nearly 20% of my starting body weight

and i'm really liking how i look lately

but i don't like that i'm down on myself

{jokes on me, I guess}

First - you have until tonight to contact me if you won my giveaway!  Please contact me!  I don't want to pick another winner!  Go HERE to find out if you won!

Mother Nature and I are having a little argument.  You see... two weeks ago it was positively glorious outside.  Spring had sprung {as they say} and the temperatures soared into the 80s with bright blue skies and puffy white clouds.

And then last week happened, and it rained EVERY SINGLE DAY.

And then yesterday happened, when there was frost on the ground!
Frost!

So much so that it resulted in this:

I posted this picture on instagram yesterday - Mikey had to take in all my flowers for fear that they would be burned by the frost overnight.  So my house looks like a flower shop exploded on my kitchen table.  Pretty, but...

Since it's Springtime I wanted to bring a little happiness to the office.  Meet Ferdinand - he came home with me last weekend:

Isn't he just the cutest??!?  I love him.  I stroke his fuzzy leaves every day at work.  And no, that's not creepy in the least.

But, dear Mother Nature, can we get rid of this March style weather and bring back May?  Please??